Portugal Legend Eusebio: Great to have Ronaldo at Real Madrid.

Portugal’s greatest footballer, Eusebio, has also spoken about Cristiano Ronaldo’s switch from Manchester United to Real Madrid. The 1966 World Cup hero praised Real Madrid as a great club and revealed his joy at Ronaldo’s transfer.

“I am very pleased, because Real Madrid is a team that I love a lot in Spain. They are the most important team in the country, just as Benfica are in Portugal and Manchester United in England.

“I am pleased that Cristiano Ronaldo has signed a contract here, and I am sure that we will succeed in Spanish football.”

Many people are questioning Real Madrid’s ability to achieve success with money, while some doubt Ronaldo’s potential in Spain. But Eusebio, who has other beliefs, said:

“I cannot define him [Ronaldo]. He is now the god of another world. I think this year, Real Madrid will not have problems because at the moment he is the best player in the world.”

Well, this thought is certainly not Xavi’s opinion. The 29-year-old midfielder – who just won a bronze medal at the Confederations Cup – declared:

“The best player in the world is Lionel Messi and there’s no chance he will switch allegiance,”

And talking about Barcelona’s desire to win the treble once again, he continued:

“We also have Andres Iniesta, Thierry Henry and Samuel Eto’o and with that kind of luxury, we are capable of doing anything.

“As for Ronaldo, I wouldn’t want him here. At Barca, we do not have room for players who fill gossip magazines. We are hard workers and sportsmen but he, on the other hand, is uncontrollable.”

Written by: Angela Asante

Holly Madison Cute images

Brown's plea deal over Rihanna assault 'a joke'

Chris Brown's plea deal -- which saved him from a jail term for attacking his pop star ex-girlfriend Rihanna -- was yesterday condemned as "a joke" by justice campaigners.

The 20-year-old R'n'B star admitted assaulting then girlfriend Rihanna just hours before the pair were due to perform at the Grammy Awards in February.

Under the terms of the bargain, Brown is likely to serve no jail time. Instead he will do six months' community service and be placed on probation.Domestic violence campaigners said the recommended sentence sent out the wrong message and could discourage women reporting violence.

Roslyn Muraskin, professor of criminal justice, said: "It is letting him off the hook. What they are doing is letting him off easy. It is laughable.

Justice

"It will discourage people coming forward. It is revolving justice -- you get a slap on the wrist and let back on the streets. It is not proper justice, it is a joke."

Brown was arrested on February 8, hours after a party in Los Angeles.

According to an affidavit filed by an LA police detective, the altercation took place in a car when the 'Umbrella' singer found a text message from another woman on Brown's phone.

Brown then tried to push Rihanna out of the vehicle before punching her repeatedly. He also bit her ear. He then allegedly threatened to kill her.

Done Deal: Cristiano Ronaldo Signs Six-Year Contract at Real Madrid

Speculations regarding Cristiano Ronaldo’s move to Real Madrid are now over. Yesterday night, the Madrid club’s official website confirmed that Los Blancos had made a world record breaking transfer of 80 million Euros, only to sign the Portuguese winger on a six-year deal at the Bernabeu.














The statement from the Spanish Giants read:

“Real Madrid CF and Manchester United have confirmed a definitive agreement for the transfer of the player Cristiano Ronaldo, to take place on July 1.

“The player will be tied to Real Madrid for the next six seasons and will be presented on the 6th of July at the Santiago Bernabeu stadium.”

Written by Angela Asante

Shakira Is A Wolf And SHE WILL EAT YOU

It’s true. Last week, two eyewitness videos appeared on YouTube showing the diminutive singer grievously attacking two men in New York City. Now literally fives of YouTubers across the globe have posted similar videos, in which many of the attackers don’t actually resemble Shakira in any way.

We can only conclude that Shakira is a shapeshifter and that you, reader, may be in danger even as you read this.

Look around you. Shakira could be anything - your Adam Lambert poster, your diet pills, any one of your porcelain unicorn figurines. If you suspect a unicorn figurine of being Shakira, DO NOT engage it in a phoned-in, atonal rap.

We haven’t heard from Wyclef Jean in days.And this is so unexpected. We assumed that Shakira Shakira Beyonce Beyonce Benecol Alhambras was lounging on some irradiated Colombian beach, dreaming up another album’s worth of songs about horses and thongs, advising Gordon Brown on public policy, and popping out her ribcage for passing children.

Instead she’s gone loco for the taste of human flesh. That Shakira, she crazy!

But was she ever truly human?

Think about it: could a human voice sound simultaneously like a goat being slaughtered and a small abused child whimpering in the corner of a crumbling bedsit?

Could a human hand pen lyrics like “I’d rather eat my soup with a fork” or dislocate and reset their hipbone so rapidly that you feared they’d explode in a malevolent man-eating mess of yawning red maw and tentacles, like John Carpenter’s The Thing?

No.

Unfortunately Shakira is still at large. But some kind vigilante soul called She Wolf Hunter has set up a YouTube channel to collect all the video evidence, plus a website and Twitter feed called She Wolf is Coming to keep track of the latest attacks.

Meanwhile, if you see Shakira, our advice is:

1. Get to higher ground immediately. A medium-sized dining chair should do it.

2. Ask her hips a question to which you know the truthful answer. If they say something like “you eat too much cheese and you’re not fooling anyone with that haircut”, it’s probably Shakira. RUN AWAY!

3. Take a good long look at her breasts. Are they quite tall with snow and mountaineers on top? They’re probably mountains. You’re safe.

Now, some people have said that Shakira hasn’t killed anyone at all, and that we’re idiots to take this literally because it’s just a bizarre viral campaign building up to the release of her new single,

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